Aquafresh

I use Aquafresh Extreme Clean toothpaste. I only started using this brand fairly recently, so I'm still figuring out flavors and varieties. It's more difficult than you would expect. Do you ever just stand in front of the shelves of toothpaste and stare? WHAT is the difference? Here were my choices:

This is an old package, but on the new one it says:
WHITENING ACTION: FOR WHITER TEETH

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POLISHING ACTION: POLISHED TEETH STAY CLEANER LONGER

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FRESHENING ACTION: FIGHTS SOURCES OF BAD BREATH

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DEEP ACTION: SEEKS OUT HARD TO REACH PLACES

Ok, so I can either have whiter teeth, cleaner teeth, good breath, or clean hard-to-reach places. To me, this is confusing. Why can't I have all four? Why can't my teeth be white AND clean for a long time? I decided to go online to get to the bottom of it. Here's what they said about the Extreme Clean line in general:

Because your mouth is completely unique, Aquafresh Extreme Clean has a micro-active foam that gets into hard-to-reach places--from in-between teeth to the back of your tongue--to give you smoother, cleaner teeth that stay that way longer.

Then it lists these four amazing features/benefits:

-Contains all the power of triple protection plus special micro-active foaming action
-Protects teeth and showers your whole mouth--teeth, gums and tongue--with thousands of germ killing bubbles.
-Rinses clean and clear, leaving nothing behind but clean, white teeth.
-Has a distinctive, refreshing mint flavor that leaves an icy cool, sparkling feeling long after you brush.

Swell. Now, what is the difference between all these different types of toothpaste, then? They give the answer to that, too:

WHITENING ACTION: FOR WHITER TEETH
includes gentle whiteners for a brighter smile

POLISHING ACTION: POLISHED TEETH STAY CLEANER LONGER
micro-polishing system carefully polishes teeth

FRESHENING ACTION: FIGHTS SOURCES OF BAD BREATH
has an icy cool mint flavor

DEEP ACTION: SEEKS OUT HARD TO REACH PLACES
has a distinctive citrus mint flavor

I must say I am confused. I really don't know what to believe anymore. I ended up buying the "deep action" because hey, if the toothpaste is going to seek out hard-to-reach places, I hardly have to do a thing. My toothpaste does have a distinctive flavor, but I didn't realize it was citrus mint. Good thing I'm not writing their blurbs.

I think I'm going to buy one of each over the next several months, then save the tubes to compare ingredients and such. I wonder what they put in that "gently" whitens, and what they put in that "carefully" polishes, and what they put in that seeks out hard-to-reach places. Sounds pretty sneaky to me. The only one that makes sense is the Freshening Action: fresh breath, minty flavor. Got it.

And I thought toothpaste was just toothpaste.