Friday, June 26, 2009

Overdosing on Donuts and Ice Cream

Once, when I was little, I watched something on tv that talked about this diet where you eat whatever you want. You actually go to the store and buy everything that sounds good--anything--and then you take it all home and pig out. You gain some weight at first, but after a week or two your body gets so sick of all the junk you're putting into it that you stop eating the junk and start eating healthy foods. And of course, the tv program had testimonials and before & after pictures to prove it was all true. I was amazed.

I actually believe in this diet.

Have you ever noticed how you can sometimes "overdose" on a certain food, and then you never want to eat that food again? I know someone who did that with cantaloupe. I've done that with various food items too, though at the moment I can't think of a single one. I'll update this post if I do.

I have, however, noticed a few exceptions to the rule:

1. I have never overdosed on donuts. I tried to in high school. I decided during my senior year that if I wanted a donut, I was going to eat a donut. Our seminary teacher brought donuts to class every Friday (it was a bribe--we were a rowdy class), and I always ate one, sometimes two. There were frequently donuts available for my consumption in the middle of the week too, from one source or another. I took a donut every time.

I kept wondering when I was going to get sick of them. Maybe I just didn't eat enough all at once? I remember one day in college when I ate six Krispy Kremes. Six in one day. That's disgusting. I didn't eat them all at the same time, but by the end of the day I was feeling a little grossed out. Maybe I should have kept going on them to really OD for good.

Suffice it to say, I have not yet been able to acheive a disgust for donuts.

2. I have never overdosed on ice cream either. Perhaps because ice cream is Mormon alcohol (you heard it here first), and people don't get sick of alcohol just by drinking it, I have been unable to stop craving ice cream. It doesn't help that there are so many different flavors of ice cream--every day you can eat a different kind.

In college I worked at BYU's Creamery on Ninth, scooping ice cream. I decided I would let myself eat ice cream if I wanted to, and I figured I'd soon get so sick of it that I'd never want it again. Wrong. Ice cream was a regular part of my diet in college. In fact, for quite a while during my senior year I was eating several hot fudge sundaes a week. And I never got sick of it.

Perhaps, then, the "overdose" method of dieting only works to a certain extent.

Or maybe I just need to eat donuts and ice cream exclusively to find out if I really would get sick of them.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Errol's Plates

Alas, Errol is now officially Utahn as well. I shall remove his old California plates tonight. What do I do with old plates, anyway?

I wonder how long I could have gone without any officer noticing my plates had expired. Perhaps because they were out of state plates it might have been harder to notice? Or maybe cops here just don't care?

They expired in April. I noticed last week. Oops.

Friday, June 19, 2009

SLC Travel: Tips

Here are some tips for driving in Salt Lake City in the summertime:

1. Plan on taking at least twice as long as you think you will need to drive to your destination.

2. Look up 8-10 alternate routes so you can find the route with the least amount of construction.

3. Replace your snow tires with off-roading tires, and put a see-through steel shield on your windshield. This will help so you won’t pop a tire while driving over a huge pothole, and your windshield won’t crack if a rock from the freeway attacks it.

4. Watch out for ignorant drivers and pedestrians (oh wait, that’s a year-round tip).

5. Relax. Don't get angry. You'll get there eventually.

Here are some tips for taking public transportation in the summertime:

1. Know the times and names of the busses and trains you will be taking.

2. Look up any possible route changes or detours so you won’t be stranded.

3. Do not use your cell phone or have it in sight. Keep it on silent. Then people won’t ask you if they can borrow it.

4. You are not obligated to give money to people who ask for it, even if you have it (gosh, I sound like a real jerk, don’t I?).

5. If traveling after dark, carry pepper spray or some other form of protection. Carry it in your hand, not your purse.

Have I missed anything?

Monday, June 15, 2009

MMS Writing Challenge

I am going to participate in the My Manuscript Stinks Society's writing challenge: 100 Days to More Brilliant Writing. It's going to be great. You should all do it. More information at the My Manuscript Stinks Society's blog.

Sorry this post is not all that exciting. I'm still trying to return to a normal rhythm after having spent an enormous amount of time dating that fellow, and then going to the writing conference. Not an excuse, I know, but the truth.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


I am at the Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers conference, and I love it. My workshop group this year is especially fun; I'm not sure if that is partially due to the fact that there are no men in our group…

At any rate, today we workshopped my piece, and do you know what they wanted? More sex and more violence.

I should clarify: my novel does not contain actual sex. Just two teenagers who are friends. The readers wanted to see more of a romance between the two. They also wanted the antagonist to die a bloody horrible death, which he does, but which is not currently written as very bloody and horrible.

Thus my solution: More sex. More violence.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Sounds I Like

Leaves crunching under my feet.

Horse hooves on dirt paths/roads/etc.

Errol's tires on my dirt and gravel driveway.

Twittery birds outside my window (not squawky birds).

Rain on the roof/leaves/etc.

The silence of snow.

Tap shoes on my feet.

Tap shoes on a tap dancer's feet.

Soft wind in trees.

Anya's purr when I hold her up to my ear.

Olive's voice.

Elegyrl's laughter after she's pulled a prank.

The Boyfriend's heartbeat when I hug him goodnight.

Any person's heartbeat when we are hugging.