Wednesday, December 31, 2008

100 Things, Part 3

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

I had a snorkel on, and I was in the ocean with a bunch of fish, so I suppose the answer is yes.

52. Kissed in the rain

Kissed what in the rain? Kissed my cat in the rain? Yes, and wet cats smell bad, so I wouldn't recommend it.

53. Played in the mud

Mud-whomping is good fun, especially if you have a lot of good clean squishy mud (good = no twigs or leaves or pokey things).

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

I sat on the roof of our van. The movie was Casper. Wahoo.

55. Been in a movie

Hmm... That depends on what kind of movie you're talking about. If you mean the type of movie that you'd find on IMDB, then no, I haven't been in a movie.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

No. We went to a Chinese restaurant instead. Mmm, that sounds really good right now.

57. Started a business

Business isn't really my thing.

58. Taken a martial arts class

But I can still take you, so don't provoke me! :o)

59. Visited Russia

I would quite like to visit Russia. I would also like to speak Russian.

60. Served at a soup kitchen

I served at a homeless dinner, but it wasn't soup, and it wasn't at a soup kitchen.

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

Yes! Over the years I have done considerably more buying than selling, however.

62. Gone whale watching

Did we? Or did we only talk about it? I can't remember. I went flying fish watching though, and that was exciting.

63. Got flowers for no reason

Does this mean that I bought flowers for no reason, or received flowers for no reason? I don't think there's ever no reason for receiving flowers, but there can sometimes be no reason for buying flowers.

64. Donated blood, platelets and/or plasma

I gave blood once, just to prove to myself that I could do it. I don't like things going in my body that shouldn't be there (like needles). Halfway through, the lady told me my lips were purple. She watched me closely after that, I guess to make sure I didn't faint.

65. Gone sky diving

I have really no desire to do so. I'm a frequent flier in my dreams, and that's good enough for me.

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp


And why is this sandwiched in between skydiving and bounced checks? Of all the inappropriate places... Of course, I don't think there really is an appropriate place for a concentration camp. It's a category all its own.

67. Bounced a check

Do you know, I honestly can't remember. There was one thing once that might have been a bounced check, but I'm not sure.

68. Flown in a helicopter

That would be fun.

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

More like every childhood toy. Where are they? In a box, in the garage (of course).

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial


71. Eaten caviar

Why would I want to do that? Unfortunately, I think I have.

72. Pieced a quilt

Confession: I don't sew unless I need to. That's not to say I don't enjoy it, I just don't do it.

73. Stood in Times Square

If I went to New York, I'd do a little bit more than stand in Times Square. Why don't you ask if I've been to the Met? Or stood in Times Square on New Year's Eve? Those are much more exciting.

74. Toured the Everglades

All these things require money...

75. Been fired from a job

No, but I've quit some.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

100 Things, Part 2

26. Gone skinny dipping

Honestly, what kind of woman do you think I am? I have been midnight swimming in Lake Michigan, yes, but I had a swimsuit on.

27. Run a marathon

I've run the 5K and the 3K, but I don't think I'd have the stamina or endurance to run a marathon, particularly without an inhaler.

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

Does the Venetian in Las Vegas count?

29. Seen a total eclipse

I think so. I've seen eclipses.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

If you have never watched a sunrise or a sunset, you need to do so ASAP.

31. Hit a home run

Um... I think the more important question would be whether or not I've ever hit anything at all when attempting to play baseball. There's a reason I'm not an athlete.

32. Been on a cruise

No, and I don't have any particular desire to do so, either.

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

I would highly recommend it. If you're going to go under the falls, it's better from the American side. If you're going to just look at the falls, it's better from the Canadian side.

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

By birthplace do you mean the country? Or the actual birthplace? I've been to many countries from which my ancestors came, yes.

35. Seen an Amish community

Why is this on the list? Are Amish people an item to be checked off? An oddity to be goggled at? Sheesh.

36. Taught yourself a new language

Hmm... No. I'd like to, but... I'd rather learn a new instrument before a new language.

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

I was going to ask if that was even possible, but Oriana had this in bold on her list, so I guess it is. And of course I could take the viewpoint that it's not money that brings satisfaction, but I can honestly say I would be a lot more satisfied if I had more money. Money is the cause of most of my stress.

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

No, and I probably never will.

39. Gone rock climbing


40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

There's quite a large replica at the Venetian in Las Vegas, however. I've seen that.

41. Sung karaoke

Thank you, elegyrl!

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

And went in the gift shop, too!

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

Define stranger.

44. Visited Africa

In real life, or in my dreams?

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

Bring a jacket. It's cold.

46. Been transported in an ambulance

No, but I've been IN an ambulance, thanks to elegyrl.

47. Had your portrait painted

Painted? For real? Who does this, people? Like sit down and have someone paint you? How egocentric is that? I mean, unless you're the model or whatever. But I'm not a model, so no.

48. Gone deep sea fishing

Blah to fishing.

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

Italy. No.

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

And that is one experience that you can't get from looking at a picture.

Monday, December 29, 2008

100 Things, Part 1 (of 4)

The alleged purpose of this blog is so that everyone can learn more about me, simply through reading whether or not I've performed certain actions or seen certain objects in my lifetime. The assumption that a human life can be so categorized and defined is, in my opinion, distasteful, and the complete lack of personalization from such a list seems to contradict the very idea upon which it is predicated.

I am drawn to the copied post, however, because it involves a list. A long list. And I like lists.
If you are not familiar with the concept, the blogger is supposed to copy these 100 items, paste them into their own blog entry, then re-do the font so that the bold items communicate activities that the blogger has experienced. I will comply, with annotations.

1. Started your own blog

Honestly, do you need this item? How many people posting this to their blog have not started a blog? I guess someone else could have started their blog for them...

2. Slept under the stars

Yes, a couple times, most notably on a trampoline.

3. Played in a band

Is there a band I haven't played in? I mean, besides those things that most people think of when they hear the word "band."

4. Visited Hawaii

Alas, no. And don't remind me, either, I'm a little touchy about it.

5. Watched a meteor shower

Define "shower." I don't know.

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

How can you give more than you can afford? You can only give what you have, and you can't give any more than that. This one makes no sense.

7. Been to Disneyland

Multiple times. I know Disneyland.

8. Climbed a mountain

Define mountain. I may or may not have, depending on the definition.

9. Held a praying mantis

Did I ever hold one? I can't remember, though I've held all sorts of other things: fish, snails, caterpillars, pill bugs, spiders, mice, rats, hamsters, cats, dogs, rabbits, lizards, snakes, frogs, toads, guinea pigs, ducklings, chicks, other birds, etc. I'm going to assume that I've held a praying mantis as well.

10. Sang a solo

Multiple times. Is there a specific venue indicated here?

11. Bungee jumped

Boo-ya. I was eleven or so. It was great. They gave me a shirt that said on the back, "Jump this!" in kind of the same style as those "No Fear" shirts that were popular back then. I didn't wear it much, for fear someone would take it literally and jump me.

12. Gone on a hot air balloon ride

No, but wouldn't that be great?

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

No, but I've watched from other places, like from my bed, under a blanket.

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

What is meant by "art"? And what is meant by "taught"? Can you become skilled in any art without outside human interaction and study? I don't like this item. I denounce its assumptions.

15. Adopted a child

Well, that's an unqualified no.

16. Had food poisoning

I have no idea. I have a rather strong stomach, so if I did and it was slight, I might not have noticed it.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

This would presuppose that I'd ever been to New York City.

18. Grown your own vegetables

With parental guidance (I was a kid).

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

Yes, and what a thrill that was. Take it from me, folks: if you want to get a close-up, save yourself a couple thousand dollars and a big headache, and buy a print.

20. Slept on an overnight train

Almost, but no.

21. Had a pillow fight

I generally lose, however, since I don't like actually hurting people.

22. Hitch hiked

No, but I gave a hitchhiker a ride once. Well, actually he was just a homeless man who asked me for a ride, and I said yes. But that's technically hitchhiking, is it not?

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

Mentally, or physically? Because I think the standard measurements for illnesses and qualifications for sick days are severely limited in the case of mental breakdowns.

24. Built a snow fort

I would claim a geographical disadvantage on this point if it were not for the fact that my parents took us each year to play in the snow, and also that I've lived in Utah for the last ten years (more or less).

25. Held a lamb

Wouldn't that be a great experience? I've had a calf suck my thumb, but I've never held a lamb.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


When I was little, I spelled jewelry "jewlery." That was how I pronounced it, so obviously that's the way you'd spell it, right?

Then my mom pointed out I was spelling it wrong. I had no concept of the word "jewel," apparently, so I didn't memorize the correct spelling. I just understood that I had an E out of order.

For many years when I wrote the word, I remembered I tended to spell it wrong, and it was something about the e, but I wasn't sure of the correct spelling. Pathetic, no? I agree. It is pathetic. But I ended up spelling the word "jewelery." You want an e? I've got one! Heck, I've got three!

By now I have learned how to spell the word correctly. It's jewelry. I even know how to pronounce it correctly too.

Isn't it great the things we learn as we get older?

Monday, December 15, 2008

Handel's Messiah

At the request of Father Edit, here are some words concerning the Messiah concert in which I recently sang with my two Superaunts (that's super aunts, for those who don't remember).

Going into the concert, I was a bit nervous, but not because of stage fright. I'm going to be brutally honest, as I'm a musician, and if you want to call me a jerk, that's fine: the orchestra sounded dismal at the rehearsal on Saturday. Well, perhaps that is a bit harsh: the bassoonist and oboist were good. At any rate, I was nervous as to how well the work would hold together without the liberty of stopping and starting and getting everyone in the right place again.

Luckily, the directors had prepared for just such a situation, and the orchestra Sunday was larger than that of Saturday. The additional players seemed to have the advantage of knowing how to count.

I was sitting in the top row, next to my aunt. I was on the very end, and quite glad for it: I wouldn't have any dreadful singers in my ear to annoy me. Perhaps it was my mention of this fact to my aunts that was responsible for what happened.

One of the soloists was sitting in the row in front of me (there were four rows, so she was in the third). The space next to her was left open, so the soloists could stand at the mic for their parts. The soloist's daughter--who looked kind of like a Clementine, so that's what I'll call her--was absent for the sound check, and showed up after the opening prayer, when the announcer man was standing up and saying such-and-such about who-knows-what.

Clementine needed a seat. There were no black non-collapsible choir seats handy, so Clem, spotting a brownish-grey metal folding chair over against the wall, grabbed it and headed in for the open spot next to her mother. Her mother shook her head and whispered for her to sit on the ground row, the first row. Clem stood pondering this. I don't think she understood it. The girl next to her, by whom she would have sat had she sat on the first row, indicated that it was actually ok to go sit on the top row.

I, unfortunately, did not shake my head no. I should've. But I didn't, so Clementine climbed up the (rather large) risers to the top row, and placed her chair between me and the artificial Christmas trees that decorated the edge. I did not move my chair (and there wasn't room even if I had wanted to).

As Clementine was putting the chair in place however, she dropped it. Luckily, she was carrying it partway open, so it only fell on its feet, but a metal chair being dropped in any form is loud, and last night was no exception.

Thus began the concert.

As the work progressed, I learned that Clementine was not only somewhat tone-deaf, she apparently didn't know how to read music either. Well, maybe she does, but she's a follower singer. She kind of makes a noise that goes up and down and generally resembles singing, but only when the people next to her are singing too.

After a while I thought that maybe it wasn't a bad thing she was next to me: when such singers stand near me I tend to sing louder, to compensate for their off-pitch droning. I was singing very well last night, thanks to Clementine.

Other highlights:

-The hornist, who had a hairdo a la Napoleon Dynamite, fraqued* nearly every entrance, and quite a few of the other notes too. Apparently this isn't as noticeable to non-hornists.

-The tympanist, I was amazed to see, tuned the tympani without a note from a pitch pipe or anything. They were a few cents** off, but not enough that 99% of the people would notice.

-The trumpeter gave a mighty fraque in the Hallelujah chorus due to the fact that he crescendoed too early. Poor fellow.

-There is nothing quite as exciting as a live performance, especially when I am one of the performers.

-I would rather play the horn than sing.

-I miss my horn.

-I would rather perform than sit in the audience.

-The Hallelujah chorus will never cease to give me goosebumps.

The concert was greatly improved by the presence of Olive, Tree-hugger, and three of my cousins.

*fraque, v. 1. In music, to miss the note, esp. for a hornist or brass player. 2. Any instance in which a note is not properly played. Did you hear that fraque? He totally biffed it!

**100 cents is one half step.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Stuck In My Room

Do you ever notice how when people haven't blogged in a while they tend to write a reason and apologize? Interesting.

The night I went home for Thanksgiving I'd said good night to my parents, and was in my room with my cat. It was raining furiously outside. I was ready to go to bed, but decided to get some water first, since I was thirsty. Plus, Anya (my cat) wanted to go out.

This is a very boring story so far, can you tell? Don't worry, it gets exciting soon.

I technically could have obtained water from the sink in the bathroom to quench my thirst (as elegyrl pointed out afterwards), but I wanted a water bottle from the fridge. I put my hand on the doorknob and turned and pulled. Nothing happened. I tried again. Still nothing.

Sometimes doorknobs are a little slippery, and I'd just put lotion on. I wiped off my hands and used my shirt to turn the doorknob. The latch didn't move. I tried again and again. I struggled for a little bit. The door would not open, because turning the knob did not move the latch.

I had two choices: I could go to bed and hope it would all be better in the morning, or I could call my parents from my cell phone and hope they could get me out. I called my parents. They came down the hall and, when they discovered they could not open the door either, got out the tools.

After attempting several different door-opening techniques, it was determined that my dad should come in through my window to try to knock the pins out of the hinges (my little dings on the pins produced no result--they were really stuck). Before he could get soaked in the rain, however, Mother Edit used some sort of magic (the doorknob was off at that point, except for the latch, which still wouldn't budge) and the door swung open.

The next day Father Edit replaced the door with a new knob which worked.

I told my parents if they didn't want me to go back to Utah, there was a better way to say it than by locking me in my room.