Caring

Sometimes it is actually lonelier to make new friends than it is to remain a recluse with your heart safely guarded.

Embarrassment

I am not a person who embarrasses easily. I am no stranger to tripping over my own two feet, falling down, running into walls, dropping things, and other such typically "embarrassing" events. That sort of stuff I can just laugh off and move on. What really embarrasses me is things that I regret saying or doing.

For instance, today at the beginning of church (in Relief Society) there were announcements as usual. One sister got up and announced, "Because of the ward activity this week, we're going to be cleaning the building on Thursday at 8:00, instead of on Saturday."

"AM or PM?" I asked.

"PM," she answered.

And then, before I could connect my brain to my mouth, I said, "Yes! I can't make it!"

Everyone laughed, of course, but after I said that, I realized how terrible it sounded. I have been attending the church cleanings as often as I can, as I think it's important that each church member take responsibility for his or her church building, but it's always frustrating to me because so few people show up, and so little work is done. Volunteers look at things and say, "Oh, that's not too bad," rather than saying, "Hey, let's make this cleaner because this is the house of the Lord, and it should be spotless."

This past week, I somehow found myself the last person in the building, just me and one other guy. How had this happened? There was an entire section of the church that had been skipped over (because our ward doesn't use it), but I didn't have time to clean the whole thing myself. Shouldn't there be someone in charge to check things and make sure they're done properly before everyone scarpers off? That's what I did as a manager at the BB&B: when we closed at night, the employees in each department tidied up, and then I checked to make sure they'd done an ok job. Entrusting church-cleaning volunteers to check the thoroughness of their own work is great, yes, but I don't think it's very effective. A church should be cleaned, not wiped down once a week.

At any rate, I was embarrassed at having said that, because I really do enjoy cleaning the church. I try to clean the areas that I think could easily be glossed over, like the chalkboards, window sills, baseboards, and so on. And while on the one hand I don't mind not being able to clean the church this week, on the other hand I never should have said that aloud--it doesn't justly express my full feelings, it demonstrates an improper attitude, and it's just bad manners.

That is what brings me the greatest embarrassment and shame: things I say that I shouldn't have said.

Pet Peeve: Literally

The word "literally" is overused and often misused too. Most of the time, the word need not be used at all.

Due to my strong dislike of this word, I am henceforth banishing the word "literally" from my personal vocabulary, except maybe to allow myself the odd use of the word in jest.

Just Act Normal

Once upon a time I was set up on a blind date, and for some reason I was really nervous. I asked my friend Elizabeth for advice on what to do and how to act.

"Just be yourself," she said.

Then she looked at me with a thoughtful expression on her face and said, "Actually, don't be yourself. Just act normal."

In the end, it didn't matter how I acted, because the guy was about as exciting as a stick, but I thought that was still good advice. I've found it best to reveal my true "me" to others in doses, not all at once--otherwise, I can be a bit overwhelming.

Target Freezer Lights

Sometimes when I am feeling melancholy, I will walk down the frozen foods aisle at my local Target store. As I do so, I can hear an announcer's voice in my head:

"Here she is, ladies and gentlemen, Bettyyyyyyy Edit!"

*wild cheering and applause from the audience*

*(or at least from the frozen vegetables)*

...

There's nothing like the motion-activated freezer lights to boost your self-confidence.

Laser Vision

A loooong time ago, when I was in junior high, I was riding back to school from some band-related something-or-other. I had the whole bus bench to myself, so I was stretched out with my back to the window, my legs hanging into the aisle. As was usually the case, I was reading a book. It was late afternoon, and just as we reached Las Virgenes Road on the 101, the sun slipped lower than the hills around us.

The words on the page in front of me grew darker, so I pulled my knees up and positioned my book closer to my face. More light dwindled away, and before long it was impossible to read anything. I remained fixed in my position though, still staring intently at the page.

Why am I staring at this page when I know I can't read it? I wondered.

After thinking about it for a moment, I realized that I was expecting some sort of light to shoot out from my eyeballs and illuminate the page.

Honestly? I asked myself. You were really expecting that?

I searched deep within myself and found that yes, that is exactly what I had been expecting. For as fixed as my gaze was, however, it didn't work: no beams of light were emitted from my eyes.


What a let-down for a junior high kid.

Thanksgiving in June

Sometimes I wonder why I live such an incredibly charmed life. There's no other way to describe it: I live an enchanted life. I'm not saying I've never had problems, but when I really examine things closely, it's almost embarrassing how blessed I am. I am ridiculously blessed. Besides having had a happy and productive upbringing, I also have an exceptional family, glorious friends, a job I love, outstanding co-workers, a beautiful place to live (Salt Lake), sufficient food to eat, good health, warm clothing and shelter, a great ward, a healthy testimony, a cute little kitty, and a whole kaleidoscope of other odds and ends that God threw in there for who-knows-what reason.

Honestly, why me? Why should I be so lucky?

I'm grateful for my life.

Asking For Votes

My friend teaches here in UT at Endeavor Hall, which is a really fantastic school, but it has no playground--like as in none: the kids play on the blacktop of the parking lot. The parking lot. Seriously.

Endeavor Hall is in a competition and could win a new playground, but only if it gets enough votes. I don't normally re-post things asking for votes, but I feel strongly that kids should have a place to play.

If you would like to help Endeavor Hall get a playground, vote here with your facebook account: http://www.letsplay.com/page/video-contest.html

If you have more than one fb account, don't forget to vote from all of them. You can vote once each day between now and Friday.

Thank you.