Saturday, September 26, 2009

It's in a Box... In the Garage

If my life were a novel, some English teacher would be asking her students to write an essay on the symbolism of the "box in the garage". What role does this box play in Betty's life? What is its deeper meaning?

Ever since I can remember, I've had a box in the garage. It used to be just one. One box of my stuff in my parents' garage. Now it is quite a few more, though I've never actually taken the time to count. All of my horn music, dishes, kitchen gadgets and appliances, linens, Christmas decorations, some clothing, and hundreds and hundreds of books are stored not-so-neatly in boxes in Father and Mother Edit's garage.

My small consolation is that at least I'm not the only child with boxes in the garage. If you were to clear out the Edit garage of all the boxes belonging to me, Queen Tuffett, Hollywood, and all the other children, there would actually be room for a car in the garage, maybe even two.

I do feel bad about the boxes, and I really do miss my books and kitchen doo-dads. Someday I'll live in a place where I can have enough space to make use of the two beautiful bookshelves my SuperAunts gave me. For now, however, the boxes in the garage have become more of a running joke between us. Have you lost that old shirt you loved to wear? It's in a box in the garage. Are you looking for your favorite ice cream scoop? It's in a box in the garage. Has your choir music mysteriously disappeared? It's most likely in a box in the garage.

The answer to any question concerning a lost item is always, "It's in a box... in the garage."

Translated, this useful phrase means, "You will never see it again, unless you spend hours and hours, and maybe even days in the garage, sifting through boxes."

Friday, September 25, 2009

Traffic by the Block

When I drive to work I like to play a game: using the stopwatch on my phone, I time how long it takes for me to drive each block. I enjoy this game for two reasons: first, it makes me feel less impatient because I see how long each block takes, which is not a long period of time; and second, it makes me enjoy red lights because then I can look at that block and say, "Whoah, look how long that light was! One minute and thirty-three seconds!" I like to see how short the shortest block is, and how long the longest block is.

Today's numbers:

Block 1: 52 seconds
Block 2: 15 seconds
Block 3: 16 seconds
Block 4: 16 seconds
Block 5: 16 seconds
Block 6: 18 seconds
Block 7: 25 seconds
Block 8: 25 seconds
Block 9: 17 seconds
Block 10: 14 seconds
Block 11: 15 seconds
Block 12: 16 seconds
Block 13: 37 seconds
Block 14: 41 seconds
Block 15: 55 seconds
Block 16: 32 seconds
Block 17: 14 seconds
Block 18: 41 seconds

Total time: 7:45
Average time per block: 25.83 seconds
Lowest time: 14 seconds
Highest time: 55 seconds

That's a pretty low "highest time", actually. Normally I hit more red lights, traffic, construction, etc. My highest time for a single block was over four minutes. That was not a fun block.

I wonder if other people play games like this to keep themselves from getting frustrated.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Stickers on my Shoe

When I was a teenager, I used to put a star or flag sticker on some of my Sunday shoes.

The end.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


I was principal horn for this semi-professional group, and we were getting ready to perform. None of the other hornists, however, had shown up yet. I pulled my horn out to doodle around a bit, but there was water in it. As I emptied the water, I was horrified to realize (and I can say "horrified" because it was a dream, and emotions are always intense in dreams) that I hadn't emptied the water the last time I played, which had been some years ago. In fact, there had been so much water back when I put the horn away that now the tubes were all crusted and covered with a thick layer of crud, kind of like an almost-blocked artery. The third valve slide had so much water, it was like I'd stuck it in a bathtub. I was trying to find my snake so I could clean out all the gunk.

For some reason there were green-painted wooden boards set up as thin walls--perhaps to act as baffles?--but they were in front and on the sides of the horn section (who still hadn't shown up yet), not the back. I really wouldn't have cared about the boards except that they were too high: I couldn't see the conductor. As first horn, I had an important part that was key to the music we were to perform, but I couldn't even see unless I stood on tiptoe on the chair--not a safe position in which to play.

The saxophones showed up and told me I was in the wrong section, and was supposed to be over there. I contemplated the logistics of how to move my horn, which was in pieces on my lap (so I could clean it).

Then my roommate woke me up and asked if I could give her a ride to work since her car had a flat tire.

What a weird dream.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Rebecca Reads


I was going to post a blog about how one of my relations, Rebecca, was a finalist for the Book Blogger Appreciation Week's Best General Review Blog award for her blog, Rebecca Reads.

Then, however, I was interrupted halfway through writing the post and didn't come back to it until now, and the voting is over.

Congratulations anyway, Rebecca!

Monday, September 7, 2009

My Love, Moleskine

There is nothing quite as exhilarating as a new Moleskine planner. I've been infatuated with Moleskine products for some time now, and still, after all these years, a new Moleskine anything never fails to delight me. A new Moleskine planner is just sheer joy.

My heart is all aflutter.


Wednesday, September 2, 2009


I use Aquafresh Extreme Clean toothpaste. I only started using this brand fairly recently, so I'm still figuring out flavors and varieties. It's more difficult than you would expect. Do you ever just stand in front of the shelves of toothpaste and stare? WHAT is the difference? Here were my choices:

This is an old package, but on the new one it says:




Ok, so I can either have whiter teeth, cleaner teeth, good breath, or clean hard-to-reach places. To me, this is confusing. Why can't I have all four? Why can't my teeth be white AND clean for a long time? I decided to go online to get to the bottom of it. Here's what they said about the Extreme Clean line in general:

Because your mouth is completely unique, Aquafresh Extreme Clean has a micro-active foam that gets into hard-to-reach places--from in-between teeth to the back of your tongue--to give you smoother, cleaner teeth that stay that way longer.

Then it lists these four amazing features/benefits:

-Contains all the power of triple protection plus special micro-active foaming action
-Protects teeth and showers your whole mouth--teeth, gums and tongue--with thousands of germ killing bubbles.
-Rinses clean and clear, leaving nothing behind but clean, white teeth.
-Has a distinctive, refreshing mint flavor that leaves an icy cool, sparkling feeling long after you brush.

Swell. Now, what is the difference between all these different types of toothpaste, then? They give the answer to that, too:

includes gentle whiteners for a brighter smile

micro-polishing system carefully polishes teeth

has an icy cool mint flavor

has a distinctive citrus mint flavor

I must say I am confused. I really don't know what to believe anymore. I ended up buying the "deep action" because hey, if the toothpaste is going to seek out hard-to-reach places, I hardly have to do a thing. My toothpaste does have a distinctive flavor, but I didn't realize it was citrus mint. Good thing I'm not writing their blurbs.

I think I'm going to buy one of each over the next several months, then save the tubes to compare ingredients and such. I wonder what they put in that "gently" whitens, and what they put in that "carefully" polishes, and what they put in that seeks out hard-to-reach places. Sounds pretty sneaky to me. The only one that makes sense is the Freshening Action: fresh breath, minty flavor. Got it.

And I thought toothpaste was just toothpaste.